Thursday, 18 September 2008

Don't Get Me Ron



The above photo has to be one of my favourite things in the world at the moment. It's taken from the back cover of the autumn programme of events for a local theatre in the south east of England. The people in the picture are the staff of the marketing agency (let's call them Marketing Tools) who are the main sponsors of the theatre in question.

So far so humdrum. But what is it about the picture that has me so enthralled? Could it be the toothsome trio at the front (let's call them Binky, Toby and Mufty)? Nope. It is, obviously, the magnificent, brooding presence of the bloke (let's call him Ron) standing to the rear of the pic behind Toby and Mufty. What a guy!

It's not difficult to imagine the thought process of the photographer (let's call them the photographer) and how he or she would have had to employ all his or her diplomatic skills in arranging the various employees of Marketing Tools into an acceptable formation for the snap...

"OK, guys, let's have you in a little semi-circle at the front, big smiles.... not you Ron. I'll come to you in a minute. Binky, could you undo your top button and thrust your chest out a bit? Lovely. Arms rounds the girls please, Tobes. Maybe if you could undo your top button too, show a bit of chest hair. The ladies'll love that. And Mufty, what can I say - you're gorgeous!

Now... Ron. If you could just move back a bit.... and a bit more. Bit more, love. And a bit more. To the right a bit as well please Ronnie... no, my right. And a bit more. Actually maybe it'd be better if you didn't smile - y'know, give the whole thing a bit of contrast. And perhaps you could pop these shades on as well. That's it. Now, everyone say 'cheese'!

Not you Ron."


My co-blogger Spike even has a theory that Binky, Toby and Mufty aren't actually employees of Marketing Tools at all, but are instead models drafted in for the photo opportunity to make the agency appear more glamorous and, well, less of a one-man (ie Ron) band. She's such a cynic, that girl!

Anyway, this song sums Ron up nicely I think.

Elias & The Wizzkids - Young and Hairy mp3 (top-notch Swedish indie pop)

Buy Elias & The Wizzkids stuff

14 comments:

Davy H said...

Doesn't Ron work weekends bundling gobby people away from Simon Cowell at the 'X Factor' auditions??

Kippers said...

Ahh, no - I think that might be his brother Don.

Davy H said...

Ah. My mistake.

I Am Not The Beatles said...

By the look of their terrified smiles, I think you'll find the bloke in the shades is currently holding a gun to their back.

Hello by the way, I have had a month off all things internet - hope all is well

x

Kippers said...

Be very careful what you say, Ian TB, as Ron might just get his brother onto you.

Yes, your absence from all things internetty had been noted. Welcome back!

MG said...

Lovely picture...all white teeth and Osmond-like smiles.

I am feeling all mushy-hearted towards Ron though..I bet he was last to be picked in P.E class too

:)

Kippers said...

Not if they were doing shot put he wasn't.

MG said...

Very good point !

fiftypercent said...

The girl on the left is absolutely gorgeous! Thanks for posting!

Davy H said...

Oh FFS.

JC said...

Surely it is in fact Big John from The Expoited????

And FFS is right.

Kippers said...

John, Don and Ron!

They are heavy, and they're bro-thers!

Spike said...

The glowering bald bloke at the back is absolutely gorgeous! Thanks for posting!

Kippers said...

Arf!