Sunday, 19 October 2008

Amazon (and on and on)

There's an interesting message on the Amazon homepage at the moment from the company's CEO, pertaining to some new postage discounts they're implementing. There are a few points from the statement that I'd like to go over with you here, though, readers. If you don't mind, like...

Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos wrote: I am excited to announce that we are significantly reducing the minimum purchase for Super Saver Delivery, our FREE delivery programme.

Right, so this guy's actually excited about the fact that his company have amended some of their postage price criteria. Is he insane?! Or is he merely, in the modern vernacular, blowing smoke up our arses? I mean, OK, fair enough, if he'd said he was 'pleased' to announce the discount then perhaps we'd have swallowed it, but excited? Pur-lease!

Starting immediately, you need to add only £5 worth of eligible items to your basket to get free delivery.

Or alternatively we could just go and spend our money with Play, HMV, The Hut or any one of a number of other online retailers who offer FREE delivery on everything.

And best of all, just in time for Christmas shopping. And speaking of Christmas shopping, if you aren't an Amazon Prime member, I encourage you to give it a try.

Christmas shopping? Wow! I don't think I have tried that, but I might just have to now. Thanks for the tip!

Amazon Prime is our membership programme that gives you and your family unlimited FREE one-day delivery, for an annual fee of just £49.

FREE delivery for just £49? Umm, how generous!

FREE Super Saver delivery and Amazon Prime are examples of our obsession with new innovations on behalf of customers.

Too right: I mean, I'm still reeling from the whole Christmas shopping innovation. Talk about thinking outside the box. But it's good to know that you and your fellow Amazon staff are obsessed with such matters. Just not in a dangerous, stalkerish way, I hope.

Thank you for being a customer.

Not at all. Thank you for being an annoying wazzock.

The Eames Era - Fake Do-Gooders mp3


Davy H said...

On the plus side, I reckon it's impossible to say 'Jeff Bezos' out loud six or seven times without smiling. Truly, the man is blessed with an inherently funny name.

Nice use of the word 'wassock' btw.

Davy H said...

Er, sorry - 'wazzock'.

Kippers said...

LOL. Funnily enough I consulted my other half on the correct spelling as I posted it. The consensus was double z but I definitely needed that second opinion!