Thursday, 22 January 2009

Water load of rubbish

It's not often I wish I had one of those new-fangled mobile phones that also take photos, but yesterday was one such occasion. The reason: an especially risible poster advert outside the Pumpkin Cafe at Colchester North station, which I would have loved to've captured for posterity, and which bore the following legend:

FREE WATER whenever you purchase a sandwich and crisps

Free water - imagine that! It's not even free either, really, is it? I mean, if you went in there and just asked for the free water, telling them you weren't really all that hungry and didn't much fancy forking out for an overpriced cheese sarny and packet of Walkers ready salted anyway, the person behind the counter would undoubtedly tell you to buzz off (or words to that effect). Either that or stand there looking gormless while conspicuously failing to comprehend the message you were trying to convey to them. *sigh*

The fantastic special offers don't end with the "free" water, by the way; although rumours that the railway station food franchise are also planning to give away free air with every blueberry muffin and 500ml bottle of Fanta are, as yet, unconfirmed. (Their aim to provide a surly service free of charge with, well, everything remains an ongoing project, mind you.)

Eggstone - Water mp3

Which fatuous advertising campaigns or slogans make you despair at the modern world?


dickvandyke said...

Saw one today which I nearly fell for ... "Sandwiches £1".
As I approached the butty bandit's counter, I clocked, in tiny letters below, "..With every coffee purchased".
How much was the coffee? £3.25.

Kippers said...

Christ almighty. You could buy a jar of the stuff for that.

adam said...

On the station at Wolves I often just go in and ask for a glass of tap water - and they are nice people and usually give it to me, but for a while they told me that policy was that they couldn't give me tap water but they could give me a cup and I could go and get some myself from the 'not drinking water' sink in the toilets. Mmmmmmm.

In my terribly middle class way I still rather like the M&S ten quid meal deal thingy although, in common with all ready meals things, you really can't get enough to eat for two, and as a meal for one it's less of a good deal. But nice.

Davy H said...

Why can you not buy a pigging newspaper in WH Smith without the poor sap behind the counter being corporately obliged to offer you a half price Toblerone with it? FFS!! IF I HAD WANTED A SODDING TOBLERONE I WOULD HAVE TAKEN MY SORRY ARSE UP THE FECKING CORNER SHOP AND CHUFFING WELL BOUGHT ONE!!!

dickvandyke said...


"Would you like the receipt?"

They had to stop that 'put your money in the box for your newspaper' honesty thing in Leeds Station as they were losing hundreds of pounds a week.

I'd always pay ...
albeit in pesetas from the back of the kitchen drawer.

Davy H said...

"Yes, I would very much like the receipt, thank you. I of course keep all the receipts I receive for newspapers (and Toblerone bars)- in a small tin under my bed. My very earliest date from 1971, just after decimilisation. Do you like Mary Hopkin?"

Davy H said...

Oh FFS. How do you spell decimalisation?

dickvandyke said...

Those were the days my friend.

Shame you didn't keep the pre desiamilisiation receipts - then you could have compared how it had all affected the cost of the Black jack in your pocket.

JC said...

Black Jack??? Yeeeuchhhhh.

Gimme the Fruit Salad falvoured thingys anyday.

Of course, water (like so many other things in life) stopped being free cos of Thatcher.