Hair today

Watching wacky magician Paul Zenon (right) sitting in Dictionary Corner on Countdown today, it struck me that an awful lot of men in his game have ridiculous facial hair. I've no idea why this should be the case though.

I mean, it's not as if people in other occupations have unique identifying features or quirks of style of their own, that set them apart from people outside their area of expertise.

For example, you don't see loads of school dinner ladies walking about sporting bright green mohicans, or scores of dustmen doing their rounds favouring Su Pollard-style giant red specs and furry dice earrings.*

And you'd never get a multitude of barristers in the courtrooms of Britain and the Commonwealth going about their business dressed in ridiculous horsehair wigs that make them look more like members of the French nobility from hundreds of years ago than actual high profile members of the modern-day legal profession, would you?

Oh, wait.

But anyway, the question still remains: why do illusionists favour stupid tiny beards and pointy sideburns that practically meet in the middle? It can't merely be because they're a bunch of pretentious wazzocks who spend far too much time admiring themselves in the mirror and trying to perfect their oh-look-at-me-aren't-I-all-mysterious-and-slightly-otherworldly look, can it?

Oh, wait. Again.

Talking of TV personalities with annoying facial hair...

I, Ludicrous - Stuck In A Lift With Noel Edmonds mp3 (for 7 days)

*I can't help thinking the world would be a slightly better place if you did though.

Buy I Ludicrous's 20 Years In Show Business here. (It's brilliant, by the way; and it's only £4.99 for the 34-track double CD.)