Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Quiz of the Weak

A fun game for all the family today, devised by Spike and compiled by moi. Below is a list of twenty-five feature films, some starring Jean-Claude van Damme and some starring his Hollywood beefcake rival/nemesis Steven Seagal (but never both - as if these two acting colossi would ever share the same screen!). The object of the game is simple: to guess which ridiculously-titled movies starred van Damme and which had Seagal as the protagonist.



Spike scored an impressive 21 out of 25 when tested on these, which I think proves beyond any shadow of a doubt her rubbish-actor-to-rubbish-film-matching abilities. So, like a licensed premises on the top floor of a skyscraper, the bar has been set ridiculously high here.

How about you: Are you man enough to try and distinguish the work of the Muscles from Brussels from that of the, erm, Alliterative American? Only one way to find out, in the game that quite literally I am calling...

VAN DAMME OR SEAGAL!

(scroll down for the answers)

1. PISTOL WHIPPED

2. ATTACK FORCE

3. UNTIL DEATH

4. THE HARD CORPS

5. IN HELL

6. MERCENARY FOR JUSTICE

7. TODAY YOU DIE

8. SUDDEN DEATH

9. OUT FOR A KILL

10. DEATH WARRANT

11. CYBORG

12. HALF PAST DEAD

13. THE SHEPHERD: BORDER PATROL

14. EXIT WOUNDS

15. ON DEADLY GROUND

16. SECOND IN COMMAND

17. MARKED FOR DEATH

18. WAKE OF DEATH

19. DERAILED

20. REPLICANT

21. HARD TO KILL

22. ABOVE THE LAW

23. INFERNO

24. URBAN JUSTICE

25. FLIGHT OF FURY



Answers: 1) SS 2) SS 3) VD 4) VD 5) VD 6) SS 7) SS 8) VD 9) SS 10) VD 11) VD 12) SS 13) VD 14) SS 15) SS 16) VD 17) SS 18) VD 19) VD 20) VD 21) SS 22) SS 23) VD 24) SS 25) SS

So how did you do? Let me know in the guestbook (assuming anyone actually goes to the trouble of completing this, which I have my doubts about!).

Dinosaur Jr. - Feel The Pain mp3

7 comments:

Davy H said...

Danny The Drug Dealer Says - "Never Mind The Quiz Man, Somethink Has Gone Seriously Wrong Wiv Your Typeface..."

(PS: will get Mrs H on this - she's seen every Seagal movie ever made - ever! But she probs won't beat Spike).

Kippers said...

Hurrah! This should be a sinch for the diehard Seagal fan (as opposed to the Die Hard Bruce Willis fan).

Davy H said...

She says 'The big ones aren't in there!' - whatever that means...

Anyway, she reckons (and I printed the Qs out to prevent cheating), the Seagal movies are:

Attack Force
Mercenary For Justice
Out For A Kill
Half Past Dead
Exit Wounds
Second In Command
Marked For Death
Derailed
Hard To Kill
Above The Law

And, if I may, I think 'Flight Of Fury' is too.

But I have seen none of the films listed whomsoever.

Kippers said...

Ahh yes, 'the big ones'. Well I couldn't make it *too* easy now, could I? ;)

But a sterling effort from Mrs H there nonetheless. Sadly she missed the following Seagal classics however: Pistol Whipped, Today You Die, On Deadly Ground, Urban Justice and Flight of Fury (you were spot-on with that one yerself though Davy).

Also, Second In Command and Derailed are actually JC Van Damme films rather than Seagal.

So this gives Mrs H a grand total of 18/25 (or 19 if we include Davy's Flight of Fury!).

Thanks for playing!

Kippers said...

BTW, hopefully the typeface should be looking a bit more legible now.

Davy H said...

Do we get a toy off the middle shelf?

Kippers said...

No, but there's a Top of the Pops album here with your name on it.


Do you want it back?