With Friends like these...

So, after fifteen years of what seems to have been pretty much non-stop coverage, Channel 4 are to finally stop repeating Friends. Hallelujah. Never thought I'd see the day, etc.

But fear not, fans of Joey, Phoebe, Glynis, Chip, Bob and Pat (note to self: check those names before publishing), as the broadcaster aren't planning to stop the daily repeats just yet. No, they're going to plough on with them until autumn 2011! So that gives you what, another twenty months or so to prepare yourself for the sad day and to bask in the 85th showing of The One Where Joey Gets Busted For Kerb-Crawling or The One Where Glynis Has An Enema, or whatever.

It'll be tough to say goodbye to this staple of the Channel 4/E4 schedules, I know, but we all have to learn to cope with loss sooner or later in our lives. I know I have. (I've never been the same since BBC One pulled the plug on Terry & June.)

And I know what you're thinking: if only someone, somewhere, had thought of releasing Friends on VHS or DVD at some stage, it would have saved us all this angst and preserved the show for future generations. But these things are so easy to say with the benefit of hindsight, and I'm sure if it would have been at all financially viable then some plucky distributor or other would have tried just such an audacious gamble.

What with Friends and Big Brother both being on their way out, this does all rather beg the question as to what exactly Channel 4 are planning to fill their schedules with for the next however many years. I can't say for sure, but I reckon an average of, ooh, approximately twenty one and a half hours per day of the station's programming output over the past decade will have been dedicated to these two programmes, so their twin absence is going to leave a hell of a hole to fill. I do, however, have a few suggestions which might help.

Perhaps they could extend Hollyoaks to seven nights a week, or drag Deal Or No Deal out to two hours per show by making the contestants open the boxes while wearing boxing gloves or something; or how about shoving a couple more ad breaks in during each episode of The Simpsons or How Clean Is Your Banjo? I'm sure no one could possibly object to that.

Alternatively, they could always ask that nice Gordon Ramsay to swear a bit more during his cookery shows; or give the Countdown contestants flick knives and a crate of Special Brew and make that programme a battle to the death. It might not sound like much, but the cumulative effect of all these suggestions would indubitably use up some invaluable airtime for the corporation.

Then again I suppose they could just stick on yet more repeats of Come Dine With Me and Everybody Loves Raymond. Ho hum.

In other news, I'm still not finished in court. Nearly there, though, honest!

Aaaaaand finally, the winner of today's award for Most Tenuously Linked to Song on a Blog Post goes to the following, for being almost the same as the title of a Channel 4 comedy series (albeit not Friends. There are millions of songs with "friends" in the title though, right?).

Sleeper - Inbetweener mp3