Search Us IV

Goodness me we've not had one of these for a while. But then comedy web searches ain't what they used to be. We still get the odd gem from time to time, mind. Here are my favourites from the past four months or so, since the last instalment (together with my usual smartarse rejoinders in brackets afterwards).

how do you know you can trust (...yourself to complete the sentence you were typing into Google before pressing 'submit'? You can't.)

pie to camera (pie to camera... are you receiving me, over?!)

how do you spell mezzoforte the jazz band who did garden party (Let's see... m-e-z-z-o-f-o-r-t-e-t-h-e-j-a-z-z-b-a-n-d-w-h-o-d-i-d-g-a-r-d-e-n-p-a-r-t-y. Sorted!)

show boyfriend my mum (is that some kind of euphemism?)

norwegian band's name, I remember the lead singer looked like Ole Gunnar Solskjaer (Harold Melvin & The Bluenotes?)



sing along with de acid house king (won't de other acid house kings be offended if you leave them out?)

is wincey willis dead? (still not dead)

wincey willis - tv cok (you're the cok, mate)

wincey king of rock (that's more like it)

did dave lee travis play abba when he resigned on air? (I think he was too busy playing the pompous arsehole)

I'm gonna go holiday (good for you)

i am gonna go to holiday (to visit your grammar, presumably?)

is she really billy joel (do you know, I think she is!)

gameshow nude women questions (AKA Father Jack's specialist subject on Mastermind)

handsome chap's bum (what about my bum?)

katie derham smoking on you tube (I hope she left a window open.)

katie derham address (Sure, it's: 12 News Mews, Kitty, Durham KT1 1TN)

what music does katie derham like? (why not write to her at the above address and ask?)

did you mean to search for irritating. (I dunno. You certainly found it, though, eh?)

nice puppies (you're too kind.)

nasty grannies (I think I'll stick with my nice puppies, if it's all the same to you.)

john kettley is a weatherman and so is michael fish half man half biscuit (Is he?! Who knew?)

(biscuit bits not pictured)
is nat and allie really going out (yeh thay wel iz.)

where does apple pie come from? (the oven, stupid!)

how to know if you can trust her (pick her up and see how far you can throw her. That should give you some sort of idea.)

eighties pop posing pouch (free tomorrow with the Daily Mail.)

More daft searches as and when we have enough for another entry! In the meantime, here's another solid gold classic from A Tribe of Toffs. Umm...

Half Man Half Biscuit - Four Skinny Indie Kids mp3 (for 7 days)