Sky Definition

Walking through one of those increasingly prevalent indoor shopping centres a few afternoons ago (I was on an errand of mercy to seek out some Pick 'n' Mix) I espied one of those stands companies set up in these places to try and get people to sign up for their wares. In this case it was Sky TV who, as you'll doubtless be aware if you live in the UK, have been pulling out all the stops in order to flog their latest emperor's new clothes-style subscription option, High Definition TV (which costs an extra tenner per month on top of a normal Sky sub, plus an initial £49 for the HD box, which may possibly explain why they're so keen on everybody having it).

Anyway, in order to show us SD (Standard Definition) luddites exactly what we've been missing by not "upgrading" to Sky HD, Sky set up a couple of biggish High Def TV screens on their stand in the aforementioned shopping centre (I refuse to use the word "mall"... doh!). And I have to say I was mightily impressed with the crystal clear picture quality you get in High Definition... or at least I might have been had their two operatives not chosen to leave the TVs switched on to the History Channel, which at the time was showing the grainiest black & white footage imaginable of some old World War II battle! How I laughed.

Sky's other big selling point, of course, is football; and with another season upon us they've wheeled out one of their old advertising slogans in order to promote their coverage. So basically, any time you look at a billboard, newspaper or TV advert at the moment there's a fair chance you'll be greeted by the following legend:

"Sky: Football. We know how you feel about it because we feel the same"

Yes, yes, very pithy I'm sure. I can't help feeling, though, that a more honest statement would have had the following wording:

"Sky. Football. We know how you feel about it because we feel the same about taking your money"

Just a thought.

Tribeca - The Sun Always Shines On TV mp3

Les Paul 1915-2009

Captain America (Eugenius) - God Bless Les Paul mp3

Perfect pop

A spot of sparkling new indiepop for you today, courtesy of London-based four-piece Perfect People. I can't get enough of this at the moment.

Perfect People - They Don't Make 'Em Like You Anymore mp3

If you like what you hear (and why wouldn't you, frankly?), check out Perfect People's MySpace page for more music, tour dates and the chance to sign up for a free EP. Smashing.

Also, before I go, and with just 48 hours to go before the new English Premier League season kicks off, now might be a good time to remind you about our fantasy football league for 2009/10, the Group of Death (now in its fourth - or possibly fifth - great year!). 26 people have signed up so far; care to make it 27?

Sally Shapiro's Guilty Pleasure

If Swedish twee synth-pop is your bag (daddio) then the forthcoming album from Sally Shapiro could be just what you're looking for. My Guilty Pleasure comes out on August 25th in all the usual formats (plus a strictly limited 20-copy cassette release!) and features eleven tracks including new single Love In July, which is accompanied by this rather sweet promo video, gripping narrative and all:



Ahh, I love a happy ending.

Sally Shapiro - Love In July mp3

Search Us VII

It's that time again. Just in case you're new to this blog, these Search Us posts are basically a semi-regular round-up of all - or at least some - of the more witless and/or entertaining Google searches that have found their way to this blog, together with some smartarse rejoinders from yours truly in brackets afterwards. It's one of our more popular features - which basically means that about three people like it. All clear? Righto. Eyes down, everyone!

Katie Derham smoking (Quick! Someone put her out!)

What happened to Pontinental? (It got sectioned under the Pontinental Health Act)

stop buying your albums (Allright, but only if you'll buy my albums for me)

Wincey Willis football fan (No, weatherman!)

Wincey Willis 1989 Bank Holiday (I wonder why they scrapped that one?)

Whitstable bird custard (This may well be the best euphemism I've ever heard for seagull shit, even though the searcher here would actually have been looking for this article.)

apple pie background info (it's a pie, it has apples in it, it's got a brother called pork, it has a pathological dislike of mangoes...)



Remember this Flying Pickets text (The one that went "OMG we r wel @#1 in da chartz wiv Only U even tho its 1983 and txtin aint bin invntd yet and wont b 4 abt anuva 15 yrs WTF?!? LOLZ")

dipping rude boys (That'll learn 'em!)

did apple pie come from sweden (The one with the Swedish accent did)

how did apple pie come to the u.s. (It chartered a plane at Stockholm)

eat too much apple (Or you'll what?)

Why don't you add water to apple pie? (I just don't feel like it right now. Now get off my back.)

Kippers laces sing together (As do the voices in my head)

nude woman pies herself (Well, you know what it's like when you're busting for a pie)

Where is Wincey Willis? (at home sulking about the loss of her Bank Holiday, I shouldn't wonder)

I don't like pie that much (thanks for sharing)



bugger me gently Lizzie Birdsworth (Are you trying to get her put away again?)

Katie Derham smokes (so I've heard)

have got a sing a song for to day (Nutjob!)

is wincey willis dead (No, but her public holiday's a goner)

Kippers Netherlands buy fish (What, now?! Can't I buy some at Morrison's instead? It's only round the corner)

tell me a little background on a singer named polly brown (ask me nicely and I'll think about it)

How much apple is too much in one day (a plethora)

kiss girl at bikerkissing (Umm...)

pie haiku (I really like pies / They're tasty and filling too / Although quite fatty)

Frente! - Somethin' Stupid mp3

Three of a Kind #94

Hello you! My, I've really let this place go to pot lately, eh? That's easily enough fixed, though. Let's ease our way back in to the swing of things again with a bit of a light salad, shall we? Why not!



Listen out for the following rhyming couplet in first track Kent, by the way:

Why don't you live in a house in Kent / Spend all your money in Brent

I can't make up my mind if that's one of the worst lines in pop history, or one of the best. Definitely memorable either way.

Salad - Kent mp3

Salad - Diminished Clothes mp3

Salad - On A Leash mp3

Those were the first three singles in the career of what a churl might describe as the Britpop also-rans Salad. I always like them, though, and much preferred them to a lot of the more prominent bands on the scene. Drink The Elixir was my absolute favourite track of theirs, but I've only got that on vinyl and can't really be arsed to upload it just now. Well worth seeking out though if you've not heard it.

Song of the Day

Bloody magic, this is!



Miquel Brown - Close To Perfection mp3

Mildly Highly* Interesting Pop Facts: Miquel Brown is the step-sister of fellow disco diva Amii Stewart and the mother of disco div Sinitta (to whom the resemblance is uncanny). An actress as well as a singer, Miquel also appeared in the pilot episode of The Sweeney!

*Due to the unusually high interestingness quota of these facts, I've given them an upgrade.

People making an exhibition of themselves

One of my very favourite things at the moment has to be artist Antony Gormley's "living monument" on the (previously) empty Fourth Plinth in Trafalgar Square. Basically, in case you've not heard about it, what happens is: every hour, twenty-four hours a day, for a hundred days without a break, a different person occupies the plinth and does whatever takes their fancy during their sixty minutes on the perch (27713 people applied for the 2400 available places). It is utterly brilliant, sort of like Big Brother, only without the hysteria and ratcheted-up tension.

And as if that wasn't enough on its own, you can also dip into the coverage of the action whenever you like as there's a free live webstream of the action here which will, presumably, be up throughout the hundred days (or eighty-seven remaining days as it is now).

I've only been dipping in and out for a day or so now but personal highlights so far include the middle-aged woman who took a pile of ironing with her and spent her hour making her way through it (between you and me, though, I don't think the iron was plugged in). There was also an especially paranoid conspiracy theorist who, in the ten minutes or so I watched him, managed to claim that the USA actually hanged one of Saddam's lookylikeys rather than the erstwhile Iraqi dictator himself (who apparently remains at large. Who knew?!), and also that the real power behind the various regimes in the White House over the years have, in fact, been.... the Presidents' dogs. Absolutely barking.

The last time I looked Margie from the south west was due for her stint on the plinth. She says on her profile page that she's "not sure what I'll be doing yet". Oh dear. I hope Margie doesn't spread herself too thin.

A House - Endless Art mp3

Quizzical Attraction

Oh I've been a bad blogger - hardly any updates this week, and I've got nowt planned. In which case, please accept this gratuitous plug for the daily trivia quiz wot I run, and which enjoys the regular patronage of such luminaries as DavyH, tvv, Breadman and Spike/Sutti (when she's not too busy to get online).

There are ten multiple choice questions to be answered each day on a variety of subjects (only one subject per day, mind, so it only takes a minute or two of your time). If you're not part of it already please do come and join in, as all are welcome. It's a good laugh and an education to boot!

Also, apropos of nothing, I seem to remember an old Girlfrendo single that I put up here a while back proving to be quite a hit with some of you, and which led to one or two people requesting to hear some more of the sadly now defunct winsome Swedish twee-piece (tweesome? twee-o?). So here, somewhat belatedly, you go!

Girlfrendo - Air mp3

PLAY THE DAILY TRIVIA QUIZ

Fantasy Football

With less than a month to go until the new English football season begins in earnest, there's never been a better time to sign up to play the free, official Premier League fantasy football game for 2009/10. As ever, we here at Too Much Apple Pie are running our own private league, which you, our uniquely talented and universally good-looking readership, are invited to join. Please feel free invite your friends along too - the more the merrier!

To enter, simply register for free here and then, once you've selected your squad of 15 players, click on "Leagues" in the left hand menu. Once you've done that simply click "Join", then enter the following code in the "Join private league" box:

34127-11064

And voila! Your team will now be enrolled in the fourth annual "Group of Death". Hope to see you there! (My team are called Optimists Anonymous, by the way. What's yours?)

Marit Bergman - This Is The Year mp3

Three of a Kind #93

Right, well, it's Saturday night so sod it - the drinks are on me!

My Bloody Valentine - Strawberry Wine mp3

The Champs - Tequila mp3

Helen Love - Diet Coke Girl mp3

Axe me I won't say no - how could I?

The man in the pic above is Dr Richard Beeching i.e. the fucker responsible for the infamous Beeching Report (what a coincidence that it bore his name!) which led to the closing down of thousands of miles of the UK railway network in the 1960s. He got paid a fortune for it too, by all accounts, wielding his "axe". There's really no justice sometimes.

What's that got to do with the price of an open return to Inverness, I don't hear you ask. Well, blog favourites the Pete Green Corporate Juggernaut have only gone and released a single about the man, in which Pete fantasises about travelling back in time and turning Beeching's axe back on him. Sounds like a plan!

Hey Doctor Beeching is available as a free mp3 from sparklemotion.co.uk, and while you're there they'd also appreciate it if you could make a voluntary donation to the Lincolnshire Wolds Railway, as Pete explains:

"The LWR is a little steam railway near where I grew up which is run by volunteers and needs funds to carry on its work restoring old locos, extending the track and enhancing the site for visitors. It's on a section of line which was closed following the recommendations of Dr Richard Beeching, as referred to in the lyrics of the song, so there's kind of a nice circularity about it if we can use the song to undo a little bit of the damage wrought by the Beeching Axe.

"The donation is entirely voluntary and you're quite welcome to download the song without making one. But we'd love it if you could put something in the hat. We suggest a donation of one pound (though, of course, it would be great if you could give more)."

Click here to download and donate

So there you go. Great bloke that Pete Green, lot of work for charity. I still think we need to divert some of those funds into financing that time machine though.

Three of a Kind #92

A good gauge of a band's popularity, I find, is to see how many plays they've accumulated on Last.fm. For example, the daddies of them all, The Beatles, have amassed a whopping total of 172,143,820 plays to date. The Rolling Stones, meanwhile, have racked up a healthy 41,176,357, The Smiths 38,610,847, The Kinks 16,776,569, Madness 4,211,755, Teenage Fanclub 2,452,694, Ride 1,956,548 and, erm, Bros 87,662.

Today's featured band, The Family Cat, may have only managed a paltry 18,553 Last.fm plays but, although relatively small in number, us fans are still as enthusiastic about their music as ever. How many Brosettes would still be able to claim the same of their own one-time favourites, I wonder?! (I'm guessing about three.)

In case you're under thirty and/or haven't come across them before, here's a bit about the Family Cat. Hailing from Devon, Hampshire and (mostly) Cornwall, and active between 1988 and 1995, the band had not one, not two, but three - count 'em! - guitarists, and made a pleasingly melodic racket (oxymoron alert!) that had a bit more oomph about it than a lot of the more shoegazy brand of indie doing the rounds at the time.

TFC released two full-length albums - 1992's Furthest From The Sun and '94's Magic Happens - and quite a few singles in their time, most of which I bought and all of which still sound tremendous. There was also a Rick Buckler-produced mini-album, 1989's Tell 'Em We're Surfin', which I've never heard, but which, apparently, was so badly produced that the band spent the rest of their career disowning it!

Anyway, I could have chosen many more TFC songs just as good as the ones you're about to hear (assuming you take the plunge and download them), but I settled on the three below.

(By the way, although their CDs are long out of print, the iTunes Shop seems to have the Family Cat's output pretty well covered, so get yourselves along there for lots more of the same.)


The Family Cat - Amazing Hangover mp3

Mildly Interesting Pop Fact #1 Amazing Hangover started out life as the third track on the Airplane Gardens single, which may well make it the best b-side ever.

The Family Cat - Steamroller mp3

Mildly Interesting Pop Fact #2 Steamroller is largely about Southampton FC, the team of choice of one the the band members. I just had to include it here, as Southampton are in the news today - having just been bought by a Swiss billionaire. Topical!

The Family Cat - Colour Me Grey mp3

Mildly Interesting Pop Fact #3 Colour Me Grey features backing vocals from P.J. Harvey. Whoever he is.

I Love The 1990s

...or at least I love this song; I've not actually heard anything else Glasgow combo the 1990s have recorded. But this one jumped out at me as soon as I heard it on the radio the other day. Honestly, it's catchier than a bout of swine fever. Much less hyped though. (It somehow only reached #106 in the UK pop charts.)



1990s - See You At The Lights mp3

The Ad Man Cometh

Yesterday it was a Pelle Carlberg song appropriated for the purposes of flogging a leading brand of breakfast cereal; today it's a ditty that's actually a paean to cereals in general, courtesy of versatile Sheffield singer-songwriter John Shuttleworth. Serial Cereal Eater (for that is it) even mentions Special K at one point, which makes me wonder if Kellogg's weren't missing a trick by not hiring Mr Shuttleworth for that ad campaign. Ho hum.

Funnily enough, John has recently been appearing in a series of TV commercials, for Yorkshire Tea. Which at least makes some kind of sense I s'pose. Still, though, if he must advertise a tipple, I reckon Ken Worthington's Bitter would be a better bet. Ooph!

John Shuttleworth - Serial Cereal Eater mp3

Carlberg: Probably the best ad music in the world

It's always disappointing when your favourite music is appropriated by The Man (whoever he is) for the purposes of hawking tat on TV commercials; but I was more surprised than anything else when Riverbank by Pelle Carlberg popped up as the music on the latest Kellogg's Special K advert in the UK. It's even more surprising when you bear in mind that the song is actually about unquestioning consumer consumption and opportunistic advertisers shoving their products down our throats. Oh the irony!



Pelle Carlberg - Riverbank mp3